Hold on to your butts...

Greetings Friend(s)!

Congratulations, you are reading my first official forray into the world of uproarious bloggery! I bet when you woke up this morning, you couldn't imagine stumbling upon such an honor. Well, things are going pretty well for you, I think. It's finally all coming together in your life, no more sleepless, lonely nights! That's because this is only the first in a series of particularly hilarious posts. And by God, with your love and support my posts will be so hilarious they'll crush the spirits of my best friends and colleagues.

Why so ADVERSARIAL, you ask? Aren't you guys supposed to be a comedy TEAM, say you?

Well, the short answer to both is keep your nose out of my goddamned business, but since this is the first post, I think I should explain myself just a bit:

Yes, we are a comedy team in the sense that we write, perform, and sleep together. But we are not a team in the "all for one and one for all" sense, because we are constantly competing with each other to get the biggest laugh. This healthy spirit of competition is evident when we step over eachother's punchlines during live shows or when Justin pushed Andrew down two flights of stairs on his birthday. Though it's not about quick delivery and physical violence for me. For me it's about a miniscule sense of self-esteem, so much so that I cut myself every time one of their jokes kill, which unfortunately for me, is quite often. One time, Andrew was doing his famous Charles Durning impression for my Grandmother and he had her going so bad I had no choice but to go into the bathroom and cut off my pinky toe. I miss that little guy.

So in the interest of my health, I kindly ask that you read my posts twice as often as my friends Andrew, Justin, and Sean, and laugh a little bit harder when you do. Do it for me, Steve, the Gorilla with the lowest self-esteem (believe me, in this group that's saying something).

Warm Regards,

Stephen Sajdak


P.S. Okay, there's no real way for me to know whether or not you're reading or enjoying my posts more, so I suppose there's no reason to ignore the superior posts made by my colleagues. The only thing I do ask is that when you see me in person, you tell me how much the rest of the site sucks.